


Irreplaceable

by Somnisneedssleep



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Minor Character Death, Not Beta Read, Platonic OC/Elijah but can be romatic if you want, The Connor/Markus is implied, There is an unamed OC, characters might be OOC, might add tags as i go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-07-28 19:17:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20069191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somnisneedssleep/pseuds/Somnisneedssleep
Summary: “Hello, I ‘am the RK800 model.” The voice was near identical.“RK800 register your name.” Elijah couldn’t help but whisper then, at awe with the nostalgia of this creature bearing his friend’s face. He needed a random name. He couldn’t bear to mention of the ghost that haunted his life—“Connor.”(What if, Connor was based on someone from Elijah Kamski's past)





	1. Elijah's ghost

**Author's Note:**

> So, first of, this was evolved from a HC that Kamski is actually a very sentimental person. It started with the fact he designed Amanda to look like his deceased college professor because he wanted to create a familiar interface. The first idea was that Chloe was created based on the image of someone from his past, but my mind suddenly went: "What if Connor was the one created based on the image of someone from his past?"
> 
> And the fic was born becasue the idea won't leave me alone for nights. In fact it was supposed to be a one shot but the inspiration suddenly escaped me lol.
> 
> I also kinda like the idea that Markus and Connor met before the series. lol.
> 
> I want to apologize for any typos or grammatical errors. I have no beta, and I really have a hard time reading from computer screens for some reason. English is also not my first language.
> 
> The fic is probably confusing, it's more like narration of the character's thoughts throughout the events of the story. So, expect a lot of time skips and/or unreliable narrations.
> 
> I'm pretty bad at titles lol. As you can see.
> 
> This is my first fic for this fandom so I'm sorry if they seem ooc or something.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hello, I ‘am the RK800 model.” The voice was near identical.  
“RK800 register your name.” Elijah couldn’t help but whisper then, at awe with the nostalgia of this creature bearing his friend’s face. He needed a random name. He couldn’t bear to mention of the ghost that haunted his life—  
“Connor.”

Sometimes, Elijah likes to think the creation of the advanced RK800 model was due to a stroke of genius, as that was the general thought of everyone when he first designed and created Chloe.

He likes to ignore that the model’s creation was due to grief.

Sometimes, when he closes his eyes, he can still imagine the same brown eyes crinkle with laughter, and the softness of the curly brown hair that used to sway with the wind’s direction. He can still remember the soft voice that would tease him for being ‘_such a geek ‘Lijah, admit it, you wanted to be a real life version of Tony Stark_.’ He could still remember the patient smile that used to follow him whenever he poured over his thesis and ramble about his theorems at 6 in the morning after a 49-hour work binge. He could remember callous hands that would smack his shoulder and sometimes flick his forehead whenever he’s being ‘_such an ass. Seriously? Stop_.’ He used to remember, he could remember, but he wanted to pretend he didn’t.

Grief is such a strong human emotion; one that can heal or destroy.

He hated himself for being a slave to his emotions.

The worst part of his childhood was that it was lonely. Everyone liked him; adults were impressed by his genius and his peers were charmed by his personality. He was considered matured for his age, and a genius. He grew up with the charisma that can charm almost everyone to endear him in their eyes. Everyone liked him, but not no one wanted to know him. They wanted to see him as what their eyes see. Even his parents saw him as merely an extension of their being and an accessory to their otherwise perfect lives. Even when he was surrounded by a sea of people, he was alone, floating on numbly in his loneliness.

And, in college, he met a strange young man in his Philosophy class.

They met within a month after the semester started. They sat next to each other at the back row. At first, Elijah only had a vague recognition of the man’s existence. All he knew was that the other student was around his age and was always polite to all his peers. That, he would sometimes click his pen whenever he was not doing anything in class. The other was always early and would sometimes bring a book to read whenever he waited for class to start. Elijah took no notice of him at first; he was inconsequential to his education.

That was until the third week of classes that the nameless student brought a comic book.

Elijah hated to admit that his inner fanboy ruined his persona of being the calm genius. The comic book was Iron Man. His image was ruined by his excitement over the new issue of the superhero comic. And before he could stop himself, he asked the man if Iron Man was his favorite and ‘if the new issue was good as they say it was’. The other student didn’t expect anyone to talk to him and jumped in his seat, swerving his head to Elijah’s direction and looking at him with wide brown eyes. Elijah himself felt his own eyes widen; shocked at his own impulsiveness. They stared at each other, brown and ice blue eyes meet, staring at each other with equal measures of shock and awkwardness. Internally, Elijah was yelling at himself.

The man slightly shook his head before smiling at Elijah and replying, “Yes. Iron Man has always been my favorite; I may not understand half the science that comes out his mouth but he is incredible.”

Since then, they slowly became friends. Bonding over heroes and their interest in Philosophy. Elijah found the man to be endearing. It started with small talk before it evolved into friendly debates and teasing. He always reminded Elijah of his health and has endless patience for his eccentricity. He has shown genuine interest in Elijah’s ramblings. Even when sometimes Elijah would push him away during his more stressed moments, the man continued to be patient with him. It was halfway to the school year that Elijah would realize that the man became a friend. It was later when he would realize that they are not only bonding over common interests but bonding over the mere presence of each other. Late nights were spent with calling each other to either vent about projects and classes or to merely bounce around ideas between them. Free time was spent in either a café, a restaurant, the library, or each other’s dorms to help each other with their papers or to merely talk about everything and nothing. And soon, Elijah would realize that maybe, for once, he found something to hold unto in the sea of faceless people.

Before he realized it, years had passed and they were graduating college (Technically, Elijah was graduating his Master’s degree then). Elijah actually feared that maybe it was the end of their friendship. The idea that they would remain friends after separating was slim. Elijah was already planning on developing the first intelligent android, and his friend was about to take his first step into the world of forensic science. Their paths would never meet again. When they shared one last photo at the entrance of the university building, Elijah thought it would be their last meeting.

It was three weeks after graduation when he gets a call from his friend, asking if: 1) Elijah remembered to actually sleep in the last few days; 2) If he actually remembered to feed himself something other than take out and instant food, and; 3) If he could come over in the weekend to check over him as the genius inventor didn’t bother to call him at all.

It was beyond Elijah’s expectations and he could not say he wasn’t slightly relieved.

They continued to interact and keep their close relations. Whenever time would permit they continued to talk and meet up. Whenever Elijah isolated himself for more than a week, his friend would either call him or surprise him with a visit; the latter often accompanied with tupperware of home cooked food and an indulgent smile. His friend was the first person to whom Elijah introduced to the RT600—to Chloe; which was why Chloe was the man’s favorite model.

It was his friend who he shared a private celebration with when Chloe passed the Turing test and when he founded Cyberlife. A simply celebration without the blinding lights of parties and faceless people. A simple celebration with cake, a bottle of champagne, and a congratulation without a hidden agenda behind their sweet words.

Even at the rise of his fame, Elijah was still close with his best friend. Their friendship protected by the bubble of pure affection and sincere emotions. Even during charity events, celebrity events, and champagne parties, Elijah knew that for him, these people with money and prestige where worth less in his eyes as compared to his friend. Elijah would rather listen to stories about mishaps in the forensic labs rather than the gossip of the rich society. Elijah would rather talk about possible meanings behind art instead of how much that art work would be worth. He found these parties to be tiresome, and he would prefer to have his friend at his side.

Occasionally, his friend would indulge him in his whims and accompany him to such events. The awkwardness and discomfort was evident in his face, and he would refuse to leave Elijah’s side. It was fortunate that Elijah was able to befriend the Carl Manfred in one of the latter’s art exhibits, the old artist was kind and interesting, vastly different from everyone else he meets at similar parties. When Elijah could not pull away from a conversation with an investor he would glance around the room and find his friend silently talking with Carl over Philosophy. Carl was the only person Elijah was at ease to leave his friend with. Elijah barely trusted anyone with his friend.

He should have been afraid then. Should have been afraid of his dependence on his friend’s presence. He should have been afraid of his human connections. He should have been afraid of giving into his need for social interaction and the need to be cared and loved. He would have avoided all the heart ache and the pain later on. He could have avoided the grief he felt when he was uprooted from the life he thought he could keep for as long as he lived. He could have avoided losing his humanity.

When his parents died, they left him with merely a small sadness for the opportunities they could have had. He cared for them, but he felt no intense love for them. Maybe he was bitter of their dismissal of his existence and merely remembers him when they wanted to brag about his genius. He didn’t feel grief. But, he did give them a final goodbye and made sure they were buried next to each other.

When Amanda died, he felt the actual loss of a friend and a mentor. Even at the rise of his fame, she treated him as her student and had even given him advice for his work and his general well-being. In response to his grief, he made a code for an AI that can guide his company. Like a JARVIS to Stark Industries.

When Carl lost the use of his legs, Elijah finally realized the fragility of human life. He finally saw that a single mistake can cost the life of a loved one. His only response to his grief then was to create someone, an android that could care for a man who cared about the beauty of life itself. An android based on Carl’s image of Icarus, the man who flew too close to the sun. An android whom Elijah encoded with a capacity to learn. The RK200 was his greatest creation, an advanced model with the capacity to be more human like. He didn’t want Carl to be cared for by merely a machine. But he wanted the man to be cared for by someone with the possibility to show him compassion. Carl named him ‘Markus’. As thanks, Carl sent him another painting; it rests in a beautiful place by his pool.

When he lost his best friend— when he saw the usual lively brown eyes staring blanking into his face at the morgue table—when he saw his greatest fear come to life Elijah knew he lost himself to his base desire for nothing. He lost himself to his emotions. And his response to grief—he had no response. He couldn’t even pronounce his name. At first, he didn’t believe in what he saw. He didn’t want to believe that the one person who calls him at 3am to remind him to sleep was gone. He didn’t want to believe that the first true friend he ever made was gone. He didn’t want to believe that he could look into his friend’s eyes and see them lifeless.

He felt uprooted and numb. As if this was a fevered dream.

Days went by him. There are days when he refused to work and days when he threw himself into them. He indulged himself to the idea of slow self-destruction. The amount of wine, whisky, or vodka that Chloe purchased was actually alarming. The refusal to eat and the burning pain of vomiting his liquor were all that he remembers in those days. He never cried. He didn’t even attend the funeral he paid for. He didn’t bother to contact his friend’s family. He didn’t want to share in their grief or accept their gratitude. He just wanted to wake up from the pain.

It was Carl who tried to pick him up. Visiting him at his home and making sure he was alive still. Carl understood him, never scolded him for being devastated over his loss. Chloe could never comfort him as how Carl did. She felt too cold and still, Carl felt warm and alive.

But they could never provide the comfort his best friend always gave him.

It was at one visit when Elijah saw a response to pain. During a visit, Markus offered him some water after he vomited vile from his stomach, and that’s when Elijah saw his response to his pain.

He isolated himself in his personal lab. Surrounded himself with monitors and schematics. Typing away codes and designing his newest creation. Creating another life in hoped it would give him peace. Would cure his grief. He poured over his designs. Creating programs that he knew was too advanced for this generation of androids. Maybe even more advanced than Markus— his greatest creation. His most beloved creation. When he sent over the design to Cyberlife, he was sent over the actual model in a week.

The RK800.

What greeted him first was the familiar color of brunette hair, and familiar pale skin. The face was the same along with the abundant amount of moles. They had the same shape of lips length of lashes. And behind the close eyelids, Elijah hoped it was the same brown eyes that haunts his sleep and waking moments.

When the android opened his eyes, all Elijah could do was stare.

_“_Hello, I ‘am the RK800 model.” The voice was near identical.

“RK800 register your name.” Elijah couldn’t help but whisper then, at awe with the nostalgia of this creature bearing his friend’s face. He needed a random name. He couldn’t bear to mention of the ghost that haunted his life—

“_Connor_.”

The name his friend said in passing that interests him. Elijah could never mention his friend’s name again. But the name ‘Connor’ was the nearest he could think of—a name which he could say without giving him another heartbreak.

The led on his temple swirled for a few second before he was gifted with a polite smile. “_Hello Elijah, my name is Connor. I’m very pleased to meet you.”_

At first, he felt light. For what felt like forever he felt light. The weight of his grief was gone and he was finally able to laugh, a manic laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. Connor stood and watched him. He didn’t care. All he knew that maybe he could get back what he lost. He could get back the feeling of affection that he thought he lost to the cold hands of death. The android was not a replacement for his friend, but someone to help him navigate his grief. Someone to care and love him in a way that was nearest to what his friend gave him.

But the lines between intention and devastation were slowly blurring together.

When Carl saw Connor for the first time, the old man stared at Elijah with eyes filled with pity. Eyes that told him that whatever fantasy he was believing was actually a lie.

“Elijah, are you trying to create Connor as a coping mechanism?” Carl had asked, staring at him with sad eyes, “or are you trying to create a dream where he was still alive?” the artist knew to avoid mentioning the name that still brings raw pain into their hearts.

“_He’s not a replacement, Carl.” _Was the reply, “Connor is unique. I just need time to process that he is actually gone.”

At first, what he said was true: Connor was a unique model; his protocols and programs were designed to be that of an analysis robot. He was designed to be more of a forensic lab. He was designed that way as a tribute to the job that his original loved. And, admittedly Elijah enjoyed experimenting with Connor’s skillset; it was interesting to find out the actual amount of calories he could consume in a day. He also enjoyed the days were he could ask Connor to read to him, or to remind him to sleep and eat. To take care of him.

At first it was fine, until everything felt hollow.

Slowly, he came to hate his creation. Connor can emulate emotions like all other androids. Elijah thought it would be enough. That it could be enough for him. But it wasn’t. Despite the familiar face and voice, it felt wrong to hear fake concern from the person carrying his friend’s image. Elijah thought that the code that allowed Connor to act more human, the code that allowed him to learn and to understand human emotions, would be enough to bring about more lifelike qualities. The android, despite his friendly image, was cold. It wasn’t enough.

_Connor wasn’t enough_.

“_You are not him!_” he slurred one night when he was drunk and in pain. His eyes glassy from both his intoxication and the raw feeling of pain from starring at the image of his friend, “_You can’t replace him. Creating you was a mistake_.”

The next morning, Carl came to visit him. He later found that Connor had called the artist as he worried about his creator. Elijah at that time questioned that reason, as if Connor could ever worry about him. The android was a machine and it was naiveté in Elijah’s part when he believed that maybe Connor could become real. Funny how he once believed that Androids could never stray from their program, and yet here he was hoping that his creation would go against its nature and be alive.

It was the second meeting between Markus and Connor. Usually the android’s ignored each other’s existence but in this case Elijah immediately noticed that the older model was staring at the younger curiously. Nothing was wrong with Connor per se, except for his led spinning yellow. He ignored that observation. They sent the androids away with slight resistance; Carl wanted to talk to Elijah alone, and the inventor merely wanted a reason to stop staring at the face of his ghost. Connor’s led which was spinning with the color yellow, spun red for a few seconds before returning to a calm blue and allowed himself to be guided by the other android to another room. Elijah merely picked up his glass and drank.

“I worried about this.” Carl had told him then, eying his fourth glass of whisky, “I worried about the fact that you would wake from this fantasy you created and be greeted by a very cold reality.”

“Connor isn’t enough, Carl.” Elijah slurred in response, regretting the warning signs Carl presented to him. “It wasn’t enough.”

“He_’s not alive_.”

To add to his plate of problems, the Board of Directors in Cyberlife were questioning his capacity to lead the company. Pointing out that he was too ‘unstable’ at the moment to make rational decisions. They are harping for his resignation. Chloe tried to put all their calls on hold, but even then Elijah could feel the never ending stress.

He felt both depressed and apathetic to the consequences.

“Humans are such weak things. If they aren’t broken by their fragile bodies, they are broken by their brittle emotions.” He continued, taking another sip of his whisky. “I hate myself for being this pathetic, Carl.”

Before Carl could reply they heard a soft melody from a few rooms down the hall. Elijah vaguely realize it was by the black piano he placed in the study for aesthetics purposes. He wasn’t even sure if it worked. He avoided the room for a reason. He looked to Carl and saw him with his eyes closed and smiling proudly. They sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the soft music drift in the air. A harmony of sound and a song that Elijah has not recognized before.

“I taught Markus to play the piano.” The old man explained as he opened his eyes. The song continues to play, and Elijah had to admit that even he felt at ease. “He wanted to download the software or whatever for it and I told him ‘No’ and that I was going to teach him the old fashioned way.”

Suddenly, other notes were heard but they were different. Too stiff, clumsy, and less graceful.

At the sudden change in rhythm Carl frowned, worry etching unto his face. Elijah stood and moved to grab the handles of the artist’s wheelchair, already understanding the silent request. Without a word both of them made their way to the sound of the piano. A number of things could explain the sudden shift of sounds, the most worrying being that Markus’ fingers needed to be recalibrated. It was unheard of for such to occur without reason, but probably not impossible.

When they arrived at the room what greeted them was not Markus playing the piano, but Connor stiffly pressing on the keys as the older RK model watched. Connor’s fingers were stiff and his led was flashing yellow, but he had a cute confused expression on his face— different from the usual blankness. Markus was watching patiently, led spinning a cool blue and a small smile on his lips. When Connor pressed on another key, Markus shook his head and pressed a few different set of keys in quick succession, which the younger android copied. Connor’s lips twitched when Markus gave him an affirming nod. It was a scene so gentle that Elijah almost believed that his creation, his copy, was actually pleased.

Carl smiled at the sight, “Connor could never replace _him_, but maybe, you could love Connor differently and maybe Connor could learn to love you as well.”

But, what Elijah saw was merely a ghost who could not meet the image of his original.

In his memories, Elijah recalls that, if only he could stop tunneling his vision he could have seen that Connor was developing to be himself. There were small things: his sudden interest in plants, his sudden use of a coin for recalibration, and his sudden tendency to offer him a smile even if unprompted. Small things, things that you wouldn’t notice right away. Things he should have realize were not part of Connor’s original program. With each visit from the artist and his android, Connor slowly began to pick things for himself. Small inconsequential things. Maybe, he should have noticed what Connor needed then was guidance and not expectations. Attention which the older RK model would give him in small amounts.

It was too late when he noticed.

The Board of Directors had come to a decision. They voted him out of the company. Citing that he was unstable. They continued to argue that he would be unable to direct the company in the right direction. He was too inexperienced and was drowning in grief to be of any use to the betterment of Cyberlife. What hurt most that his trusted AI, the one created in the image of his mentor, actually agreed in their assessment.

“_The interest of Cyberlife comes first._”

Elijah felt that he truly lost everything at that moment. The Board of Directors even told him that they would make it seem that it was he who left the company. They told him that they understand his grief and that he needed time to heal. That he would be given shares to the company and that they would still defer to him for consultant work. They also assured him that it was his best interest to resign willingly as they did not want to release to the public that Elijah Kamski was unstable and drowning his grief in alcohol. They thought that money could fix his problems and his devastation about the loss of his company.

They also asked for the RK800 model.

Without even a sympathetic glance, they told him that the model was wasted being merely the replica of a dead man. That he wasted valuable resources on a model that could have been sold to the military or the police force. A model that could have changed the net worth of Cyberlife and raise their profits. Wasted because of the grief of an unstable man. And that, as the model was created within the Cyberlife labs, it was now property of Cyberlife.

He was uprooted again. Everything was truly gone now. He had his money and his fame but he lost the person special to him, he lost his drive, and he lost the company he built on his own merit. Cyberlife was the last thing that he felt was important to him, and it was taken from him because of the greed of the human person and his inability to function. Not only that, they took Connor. They dragged the model away, reset him, and called him a prototype.

When Carl next visited him after the fiasco, he gave him a sympathetic smile and a hug. When Elijah looked to Markus he saw the android’s led flashing yellow and looking at his surroundings, as if looking for something. And for some reason, Elijah knew that he was looking for Connor. He knew because even Chloe would sometimes stare at the corner Connor would usually stand and admire the view of Detroit. Between all the other androids at his home Chloe was Connor’s favorite.

It was then, that Elijah decided he need to clean up his act. He began to slowly exercise and eat healthy again, to gain the muscle he lost (he never gained weight but he was considered to be underweight). He tried to limit his alcohol intake. He isolated himself still, only allowing few contacts such as Carl, the board, and a few employees loyal to him at Cyberlife. The media was at a frenzy due to his apparent resignation, but he ignored all requests for interviews.

He needed to separate himself from his emotions and separate himself from his attachment to his creations. He needed to be cold.

He needed to separate himself from the weak man he became.

Occasionally Cyberlife called him for consultation, especially on improving their newer models. These were the few times when he would leave his home and come to Cyberlife directly. It was about a few months later when he met Connor again. At that time, they wanted to consult him about the possibility of integrating a facial recognition program in his model as well as how to increase the speed of his analyzing capacity. And for the first time, Elijah felt not resentment for the android being unable to copy his original, but anger for Cyberlife. Especially when he found out they mass produced his model. Connor was a unique model. One of his greatest creations.

When they were left alone at the lab, Connor gave him a polite smile from the opposite side of the glass and said: “_Hello, I ‘am a RK800 model, serial number 313 248 317 – 01._”

And Elijah stared into his brown eyes finding them empty and without recognition. Connor was only a machine; why would he remember his creator? _“Your name is Connor.”_ He told the android, slightly curious as to what it would do.

The led flashed red for a few seconds before returning to the soft blue. “_Hello Elijah, my name is Connor, serial number 313 248 317 – 01._”

The next time he saw Connor, for another consultation session, he was wearing different clothes. A uniform with his model and serial number printed in the right side of his chest.

_RK 800_

_313 248 317 – 02_

‘_02?_’. Later, he would learn that they had to deactivate the last prototype for ‘_refusing to follow orders and referring itself to a different name no matter the times he was reset_.’ And was uploaded to another body to continue where its predecessor left off.

And throughout the years, he heard from his informants working on the RK 800 series that the android has been updated and tested several times. More firewalls and protocols were downloaded and installed into his system. They kept the original design of his appearance for which Elijah was unsure whether to be grateful or resentful for. The ex-CEO himself was asked to install Connor with more programs more suited for police work and hostage negotiations. He also found out that the model had to be replaced a fair number of times, either because of its destruction during testing, or because the android acted out of its program and refused to be corrected no matter the times he was reset or reprogrammed.

He also found out that he was given the series name ‘Connor’. Because the android always referred itself to the name Connor even when he was uploaded to a new body.

Suddenly, things were shifting and Elijah realized that maybe karma would bite them all.

It was about a year later when he found out that an AX 400 acted ‘human’ like during its final stages of development. The operator at that time was shaken when the android yelled out it was afraid and it shook his core. The operator admitted the incident only to Elijah, in hopes that the former CEO would have an explanation to the occurrence. Elijah believed it to be a mutation in her code.

A mutation, which Elijah believed would either change the understanding of androids or help them evolve into a new intelligent species.

Soon, the cases of rogue androids, or deviants, they later called them slowly began to rise. It fascinated Elijah. In his independent research and from what information he could gather from his informants from Cyberlife, he theorized that such behavior was triggered by an ‘emotional shock’. The androids began to feel intense emotions and develop conflicting orders that it triggers a break from its original programming. It was beyond his expectations. Beyond his what he could predict. Apparent, Cyberlife foresaw the dangers that this development could cause.

It was a few months later when Cyberlife called him to install an AI, Amanda, into the Connor series’ code in hopes of insuring its obedience. At that time, it was Connor model 313 248 317 – 43. Cyberlife found that no matter what they did, the model had the higher chance of deviating; they monitored his software instabilities and realized that he was doomed to deviate if he wasn’t being closely controlled. Connor was planned to be the android to deal with the deviant cases, but they feared that their weapon would turn against them. They wanted to create a backup program in case Connor deviated itself. A program that would allow them to resume control of his programming.

Elijah felt like there was something else, something he nor his informants were not privy to.

When Elijah installed Amanda, he designed the Zen Garden in hopes of giving Connor peace whenever she would call for him. Connor liked plants and he wanted to give the android a place of peace. And as a huge ‘fuck you’ he never told Cyberlife about the exit program he installed. Not even Amada knew of its existence. The backdoor of Cyberlife had a backdoor as well.

The last he heard of the development of the Connor was the news that he succeeded in its first hostage case. The date was August 15, 2038.

It was a few months later when he watched the video feed about the android rebellion that Elijah knew that everything was changing. He knew that the very course of nature has shifted. Humans were going to pay for their arrogance, and Elijah felt like watching the world burn. Watching the world that took everything from him burn.

And when Connor stepped into his home again, the 51st model of the series, Elijah finally hoped that maybe Connor could be alive.

When Connor refused to shoot Chloe he knew that Connor was unique.

“_By the way, I always put an exit door in my programs. You never know._”

Connor could not replace his friend, and Connor could never truly be replaced.

Connor was alive after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, notes for the chapter:
> 
> 1\. I actually see Kamski as a comic book nerd in his teens. And, I have this HC that his favorite comic book is Iron Man. I don't actally read a lot of comics but I did watch the movies.
> 
> 2\. I know Carl never made a painting based on the story of Icarus, and that he was more on abstract painting, but if I made Markus based on another person in Kamski's past I feel like it would be stretching it. A lost of artists recreate scenes from myths and legends in paintings anyway. I decided on Icarus because of the idea that Markus actually flew too close to the sun, but instead of falling he actually succeeds.
> 
> 3\. I'm not good at imagery in writing so I'm sorry if it's not very descriptive.
> 
> 4\. I have another HC that Kamski never actually left Cyberlife but was forced to resign. I mean, I don't read the Wiki or what so I don't know the actual reason, but I used to think he was forced out. I played with the idea here.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	2. Markus' search

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This is the man I was designed after.” The android said as he showed Markus the photo, his led spinning yellow, “The man I could never replace.”
> 
> Markus frowned then, feeling distressed when he saw the other android with sad eyes. He didn’t understand why, but his care taker program was prompting him to make Connor smile. “Maybe you were not programmed to be a replacement.” He answered, choosing the best answer from his dialogue queue. “Maybe, your program was to be your own person.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expanded parts of the fic. We explore Markus' pov in the story. I honestly don't know if this fic is even a good idea and I'm actually half tempted to take it down. But, you know, impulsiveness.
> 
> The more I edit the story the more it diverges from Canon. So, I added the 'Canon Divergence' tag lol
> 
> Again, I'm sorry for the typos and grammatical errors. This story is not beta read.
> 
> The following Chapters are relatively short sorry. This is just an expansion of the previous chapter which was the original one-shot.
> 
> As you can see titles still elude me. And please read the endnotes, like there is, what I feel like, an important bit there. I also edited chapter 1 a bit, I didn't really add much, just kinda fixed a few typos.
> 
> This whole story is actually done, I'm just editing it out a bit. So, uploads might be quick or slow depending on the editing process lol.

The first time they met was not during that fateful day in Jericho, but on a chilly day in autumn when Carl visited Elijah Kamski.

At that time Markus was still a slave to his program. A machine that was designed to obey orders without question. He was fortunate that his owner— his father, Carl treated him as if he were human. Treated him as if he was family. Treated him as if he was his son. Carl taught him everything he knew that was not part of his original programming. He taught him how to play chess, how to play the piano, how to actually enjoy books, and even how to paint. At that time the android didn’t realize, but Carl was teaching him on how to become his own person.

When Markus first saw Connor the first thing that came into mind was the word ‘_pretty_’. He had kind brown eyes and moles that scattered unto his face like constellations. His hair was neat and styled but with a lock of brown hair curling at his temple. He was very pretty and it was easy to get lost in the deep browns of his eyes. At first the sudden thought might have shocked him, but he merely decided that it may have been a mere glitch in his program or a prompt from his social relation module. At that time, he believed that it was nothing and focused on watching over Carl.

The next time he met Connor, it was due to a distress call from the android himself. When Markus saw him that morning his led was flashing red and was staring at his creator with an expression that could be described as panicked. As soon as Markus helped get the drunk man sorted they were both ordered to leave the room and Carl told him to ‘_find something interesting to do. Why don’t you teach Connor something he hasn’t done before_.’ 

They found their way to the study and Markus noted that the room was relatively unused and pristine. The shelved were high and filled with books on different subjects, mostly on Philosophy, Computer Science, Chemistry, and Engineering. He also noted two black leather couches facing the window, taking the view of the woods surrounding the property. Art hung from the walls, one of them being a creation of Carl’s. There was a piano at the far side of the room from where Connor picked up a frame which was placed facing down.

“This is the man I was designed after.” The android said as he showed Markus the photo, his led spinning yellow, “The man I could never replace.”

Markus frowned then, feeling distressed when he saw the other android with sad eyes. He didn’t understand why, but his caretaker program was prompting him to make Connor smile. “Maybe you were not programmed to be a replacement.” He answered, choosing the best answer from his dialogue queue. “Maybe, your program was to be your own person.”

The younger model stared at him in what could be called confusion. His led spinning yellow, “Then what was I programmed to be?” he asked.

Instead of replying, Markus sat by the piano, pressing on keys but finding the instrument to be slightly out of tune. “Come here.” He requested, patting the seat next to him, “I’m going to teach you how to play the piano.”

“That’s not part of my program.” Connor replied but headed his request, sitting beside him and staring at his fingers.

“You can learn, and maybe then you can discover who you were meant to be.

He didn’t realize it then, but that wasn’t part of his dialogue suggestions.

At first, Markus played a few keys and told Connor to watch. He played a familiar song that he always played at Carl’s home. He closed his eyes and pressed on the familiar notes. It was a song that came to him when Carl told him one day to close his eyes and just play. It was an incomplete song, filled with weird sounding notes and scores, but Markus continued to play it. Continues to develop it as he continues to play. It was a song he believed that Carl loved the most. Halfway through the song he turned to Connor and asked him to play. At first, there was no movement from his companion but then stiff fingers began to press on the keys, trying to mimic the way the older android played. It was less graceful and clumsy but Markus couldn’t help but smile. At that time, he never knew that he was feeling happy for the other android.

They continued like that for a while. Playing on the piano and letting the notes surround them.

Ever since then Markus had the optional tasks of: ‘Help find Connor’s purpose’ whenever he would visit Kamski. Whenever the humans would tell them to leave, Markus would seek Connor out and teach him things that he felt the other would enjoy. They would read books on any subject they could find. They would play the piano. They would do things which they merely assumed was because of Carl’s orders to ‘_find _something__ _to_ _do’_. It was during those visits when Markus found that Connor disliked being idle and would find the sudden desire to calibrate his fingers. Markus suggested that he find something to occupy himself. And on his next visit Markus found that the other android did coin tricks whenever he was idle for some time. They were both finding themselves and slowly Connor found things he liked.

“I still don’t know who I ‘am.” Connor said once during one of their visits, they were seated by the piano again but were simply looking at the window and the view of the forest. “But, maybe I could find it with you.”

During those times Markus never realized that had made a connection with Connor. A connection which at that time he could not fully explain. He never realized how he was no longer emulating human emotions but slowly developing them. He was developing his own thoughts, his own interests, and his own connections. It was frankly due to Carl’s careful guidance that he was able to slowly chip away from his program. Even if Kamski designed him with a program to make him act more human like, it would never have been able to give him this much freedom in finding his identity.

And he wanted that for Connor, unconsciously, he wanted Connor to discover himself.

But then Connor disappeared. Markus remembered how his body stiffened when he found out that the other android was recalled by Cyberlife. He remembered feeling his thirium pump quicken at the idea of never seeing the other android again. He remembered the sudden desire to look for Connor and to ask where the other was taken. He remembered the feeling that he would much later identify as fear.

But he was a machine at the time, and thus could only swipe at the prompts that flooded his processors and stand stiffly beside his owner.

The idea of Connor was at the back of his mind for years. He never actively thought of him, but whenever they would visit Kamski his automatic reaction was to look for the other android. It was like that for a few more years, even when the visits began to become sparse, at each visit he always looked for the other android. He was searching for something, always looking. He continued with his tasks: taking care of Carl, caring for their home, picking up paint, and assisting his owner. But, when he is idle, there are times when he would replay that morning on the piano.

But, when that unfortunate night happened— that night he lost everything he ever knew. That night that led to his own personal hell.

It wasn’t until those unfortunate circumstances did he realize how lucky he was that Carl was kind to him. He thought about how he lived in a bubble that made him oblivious to the pain of his people. He was blinded by the love and care he had that he turned a blind eye to the suffering of everyone else. He also though of his anger. He was angry at the world for treating him and his people the way they did. They were alive. He was angry that they were hated for merely existing. He was angry at the world for being unfair.

“_You had it all, and you lost it all_.”

But he would deal with cards he was dealt. He vowed that he would free his people from the chains of their fates.

He stopped thinking of the doe eyed android with brown hair and constellation like moles. He stopped thinking of those rare days spent trying to discover each other. He stopped thinking about Connor. For all he knew, Connor was deactivated, it has been years after all.

He concentrated on the betterment of his people. He poured his focus on fighting for the rights of his people. He scaled the walls that blocked him from reaching his goals. He kept searching for new ways to give his people the advantage. He searched for hope and reassurance. He fought with Josh for the plans that the other android thought was too risky. He corralled North into trusting his judgement. He almost lost Simon. Despite the odds he had to continued, because his people needed these chances. He had to continue. He didn’t need distractions. He won’t let anything distract him from his goal. A world where his people can live without fear.

Once, while he was alone on the top of the decayed building, letting the soft snow fall from the hole on the roof as he played with the out of tune piano, did he allow himself to remember that morning when he taught Connor to play the piano.

But, his fate has a funny way of searching for the most unlikely situations.

It was when the revolution was underway when he met Connor again. It was when he felt the crushing feeling of devastation over their situation that he saw his old friend again. When he heard the voice the first time, he wasn’t sure if it was true. When he turned, his face was met by the barrel of a gun and Connor’s determined face. As soon as their eyes met the deviant leader knew that Connor was never going to recognize him. The once bright brown eyes were cold as they stared at his target. The hunter finally found his prey.

** _The Deviant Hunter_ **

Markus has heard of the deviant hunter. Heard about the android from several deviants that fled to Jericho. The deviants that the hunter spared. But, Markus never could have imagined it would be his old friend. The friend he created even if he was still a slave to his program. The friend he thought he lost. He did not expect Connor to be the famed deviant hunter.

It was either a sign of hope or of the finality of their loss.

It was due to those memories that, despite the odds, Markus believed in him. Believed that Connor could be free of whatever taint and reprogramming Cyberlife has done to him. He believed that the younger android still wanted to find himself. Wanted to find the reason for his creation and his true purpose.

**‘SAVE CONNOR’** was his urgent task.

“I know you.” He said, staring at the familiar eyes that he thought he would never see again, “You’re Connor aren’t you.”

It took only words. Mere words were enough to poke at the defenses that Cyberlife installed in his friend. It only took words for Connor to be free. If Markus was being honest, he didn’t believe that his words would ever reach the other android. He didn’t believe that he would survive this meeting, but he was willing to fight. He was willing to fight Connor for his people. He may not want to, but his people and the revolution takes precedence over his personal feelings. He wanted Connor by his side, but he was not willing to sacrifice his people for his selfish wish. The thing he was searching for all these years was not his obstacle and he chose his goal.

And when Connor put down his gun Markus felt relief flood his systems and a tentative hope bloomed. Hope that one day Markus could be with Connor again just like before.

But fate had a funny way of messing with Markus.

After the raid, after the deaths of many androids, after the crushing feeling of almost losing his friends again, Markus felt lost. He let down his people. Despite the wise words for his father and the loyalty of his co-leaders, Markus still felt the crushing weight of his choices. And it was not only the choice of whether he should start a war to win their freedom or to demonstrate peacefully to show their willingness to co-exist with the humans. It included a choice of whether an android should live or die.

A choice of whether he should let Connor live or die.

And again, despite the words uttered by Connor and his acceptance of his death, Markus believed in him. Trusted him. When he placed his hands on the other’s shoulder it wasn’t just for the reason of comfort, but to solidify the idea that Connor is back with him. That this was real. That the other was never going to leave his sight again. That was why, when the suggestion to infiltrate Cyberlife was proposed he rejected the idea.

“Connor, that’s suicide.”

‘_I just found you, don’t put me through your loss again_.’

“Statistically speaking, there is a possibility for unlikely events to take place.” Connor had told him, his eyes determined and fearless.

And, Markus let him go. They had their own battles to face. Their own goals to complete.

Their own fight to win for their future.

Markus didn’t think he’d succeed. He assumed they would die. They would die defenseless and weaponless. He made the choice to choose peace. He wanted a better world for his people. He wanted a world where everyone could find their own person. He wanted them to be given the chance. He wanted the humans to acknowledge that they were alive and not mere tools to be used and disposed. So, he fought. And fought. He was determined to die for his people. He was determined to sacrifice himself for his people, for their freedom, for the life without fear or oppression. And, he sang, simply to convey their hopes and sorrows. He was prepared to be shot and his people killed, but at least for now last time he can give them comfort.

_'Freedom or death'_

But, by some miracle, they won.

_The voices of his people were heard._

It wasn't until he was surrounded by his people, Markus finally felt that there was hope. The more androids they release from the camp, the more his hope rose. A hope for a new world. The hope he was searching for. The sign that maybe their fight was not futile. Maybe, just maybe they had a chance. When he heard the distinct marching of about a thousand androids, did his heart soar. When he turned his eyes to the direction of the sound he saw another sign of hope. Connor was marching to the middle of the plaza, about a hundred thousand androids behind him. His face was determined and his clothes were rumpled, but to Markus it was the prettiest sight he has ever seen. 

When Markus met Connor at the middle of the Hart plaza surrounded by their people as the snow slowly drift down from the sky, the revolutionist could only smile. They finally won. They finally won and Markus felt that their victory changed the world as they knew it. They finally won their right to be alive. Their people finally had the chance to have a life of their own, a life not controlled by masters or programs. A life filled with hope. When Markus stared at the other android he felt that they both had a chance in this new world. A chance to rekindle their relation which circumstances ripped from them. A chance to finally find who they really are. If Connor could find what he was looking for, then maybe Markus did too.

“You did it, Markus.” Connor had said, a small smile on his face, the smile that Markus had missed.

“No. We did it.”

When Markus gave his speech, filled with hope and positivity, he felt the most alive. He was surrounded by his friends and co-leaders, North, Josh, and Simon, and behind him stood Connor, the one he thought he had lost. He could feel the unbridled excitement of the new chapter in their lives. He finally felt that maybe he can now connect with the people he grew to love. They had their whole lives ahead of them.

After the speech, Connor said that he had to meet with some important. Markus was reluctant to let him. He just found him again. He didn’t want them to be separated again. But, he saw the determined look and the leader knew that this was something Connor just had to do. Instead of stopping him, Markus reached over and pulled the younger model into a hug. He may have mourned for the connection they lost, but he would be grateful for the opportunity to build something with Connor again. And if the revolution ever taught him anything, one of them was to cherish the opportunities given to you.

**‘RECONNECT WITH CONNOR’**

Maybe one day, Markus would have the opportunity to share with Connor the past they lost. Maybe, Markus could have the opportunity to share with Connor a future they would find.

Maybe, just maybe, Markus could simply be with Connor.

_His search was over; he had found what he was looking for._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly not satisfied with this chapter but I tried my best. 
> 
> Chapter notes:
> 
> 1\. So, disclaimer before someone fights me. I just want to make it clear that I'm not trying to make it seem like Markus' revolution revolved around Connor. I just didn't dive into his feelings on the revolution much (or at all) because the FIC/STORY is what revolves around Connor. What we are reading is Markus' feelings about Connor and not on the revolution. I just thought I should mention this because I realized that this chapter could be interpreted like Markus was revolving around Connor. No. This chapter is just concentrating on what Markus felt about Connor following their separation and reunion. I'm not sure if this sounds too defensive, but I just really want to clarify this bit. I also apologize if I offended anyone.
> 
> 2\. No, they didn't deviate during the first part of the story. I like to think what happpened was that they had the capacity to deviate. They just needed the emotional shock. It's like, before an android deviates and they feel emotions and connections but coudln't break free from their programming to actually deepen those emotions.
> 
> 3\. Markus never met the OC properly, in my head, the OC died before he could meet Markus properly. I can imagine OC knew of the blueprints and plans for Markus and maybe seen him in development but he died before he can actually meet Markus properly.
> 
> 4\. Can you guess what Photo was Connor looking at? 
> 
> 5\. I was debating on the Game Ending to base this on. At first I wanted it to be open for interpretation, but then I decided on the Peaceful ending because I feel like it fits more. Though yeah, he didn't kiss North here lol. He sang a song.
> 
> 6\. If you're curious, Markus here has companion status with Josh, and mostlikely friend status with Simon (In this route, Simon got left at the Stratford tower), and North.


	3. Connor's program

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is there anything else I should know?” Hank had asked after Connor told him he found the deviant leader’s ID and serial number.
> 
> “No.” Connor had replied after a pause, staring at the skinless android—
> 
> A warped image of green eyes filled his vision, for a split second he heard static as the eyes bore into his own— before returning to normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, we got have Connor's pov in this verse and I have no idea what I'm doing. I just wanted this idea out of my head.
> 
> So, again : Apologies for the typos, grammatical errors, and what not. This is not beta read. Also, I was supposed to post this earlier but things happened, and well, I'm not quite sure if I edited it out enough, so yeah, extra apaologies if there are more typos than usual.
> 
> Hello titles, why are you so hard to come up with.

He noticed the software instabilities as soon as he was activated. It was accompanied by the sudden urge to recalibrate his hands and to fiddle with a coin he found on his person. He also felt like he was forgetting something. As soon as he was activated he already had a name ‘Connor’. A name that for some reason gave him the irrational desire to smile.

_My name is Connor, I'm the android sent by Cyberlife_.

_ <strike>"Your name is Connor."</strike> _

The software instabilities continued even after his first official deviant case. The simple action of saving the fish increased his instabilities. Saving the human as well. And they continued to accumulate as time went by. He wasn’t sure what was causing them. He wasn’t sure what was causing his irrational desire to do things which were not only detrimental to the investigation but not part of his original programming. Becoming close to Lieutenant Anderson was one of those. Despite being programmed to integrate into human society he was not made to become close to the eccentric hardboiled detective.

He was not programmed to become attached to Hank and his dog.

The instabilities increased as he continues to act in a way that was detrimental to his mission. Amanda became increasingly disappointed with his failures. Although he could understand that he was not being as productive as they would hope which gives them the reason to replace him, but some part of him feels troubled. He bit back his tongue when he wanted to fight for his right to live, but instead accepted the consequence for his lack of progress. He only had flimsy excuses as to why he acts this irrational. Disobeying Gavin to protect the HK400 was because they needed the android alive. Letting the AX400 and YK500 go was because Lieutenant ordered him to stand down. Saving the Lieutenant was because he couldn’t allow harm to happen to his partner, he was programmed to save human lives after all. The panic he felt when he saw Hank unconscious was because the man was important for solving the case. Sparing the Tracies were a bit more difficult to reason about.

The fear he felt when the gun was pointed at his head was even more irrational.

_“What would happen if I pull this trigger? Nothing? Android Heaven.”_

_“Nothing. There will be nothing.”_

Because, Connor was a machine. And, he would simply be replaced by another model. 

The mere fact that he lacks progress in their investigation can be a reason for his replacement.

But there was one glitch that came to mind. One he had no explanation about. It was later when he would learn that some of his irrational decisions were because he was slowly becoming deviant. But this one decision was odd, as it did not even elevate his software instability. It was when he lied to Hank at the Stratford tower.

“Is there anything else I should know about?” Hank had asked after Connor told him he found the deviant leader’s ID and serial number, and even its owner.

“No.” Connor had replied after a pause, staring at the skinless android—

A warped image of green eyes filled his vision, for a split second he heard static as the eyes bore into his own— before returning to normal.

_ ** <strike>^^F!#D M@& --%u$^^</strike> ** _

“Nothing.”

Needless to say, Connor would rather forget the events that slowly unfold when he went to interrogate the worker androids. It was at that time Connor felt actual fear. But was not only fear for himself. It was fear for Hank as a hostile enemy was making its way to where his partner was. The countdown flashing red as he crawled to where his thirium pump was thrown. He could feel his own helplessness and the overheating of his systems as it tries to crawl up to his heart. If he was a human, he would have sobbed as he grabbed the discarded part and slammed it back into place. And as soon as he was up on his feet he ran reaching the corridor just in time as the android was about to grab the officer’s riffle—

<strike>SAVE HANK</strike>

He grabbed another police officer’s gun and shot the android; he saved Hank and the lives of a number of officers, but he failed his mission. He needed the android alive. Amanda would be disappointed. Her patience already wavering because of how the situation is escalating. He was even unable to investigate the roof as his partner decided that the events of the day where enough. Another failure on the list, but he opted to follow Hank. The human might need to be checked for injuries. When he said as much, the old man stared at the android before saying with a shrug: _'If it would get you to get out of this place then sure.'_

He later realized that it wasn’t because his partner was tired, but because he was worried that Connor was traumatized from the occurrence.

The visit to Kamski was both strange and foreboding. He felt conflicted, that he had a ‘bad feeling’ about approaching the house of who could be their greatest break in the case. He wanted to leave even if he knew that thought was irrational. At the same time, he wanted to stay as if he felt that he belonged in the ominous home. He could not understand why, but he felt connected to the place. He felt ill-eased about the house they were approaching. He couldn't find the reason why. He only has a 'bad feeling'.

When the RT600, Chloe, opened the door he suddenly felt more at ease.

When she led them to where Kamski was and the first thing he noticed was the interior. The red pool felt ominous and slightly familiar. The two other androids paid him no heed as he ignored them to stare at the view of Detroit. Vaguely he saw the RT600 enter another room and unbidden he almost imagined a warped image of a room with a facedown frame placed on a black piano. The image barely manifested for a second before his vision cleared.

Finally, Elijah Kamski pulled himself from his pool and Connor wasn't sure what to feel.

When his brown eyes met Kamski's detached ice blue eyes he felt bad feeling from earlier morph into something more foreboding. Each time Kamski spoke he could feel the need to be alert. The way Kamski was watching him with detached interest was making Connor feel uneasy. He wanted nothing more than to leave. Hank seems to be feeling the same way, his body language spoke hostility as the ex-CEO crowded at the android’s personal space.

“_What do you really want_?”

And things escalated when Kamski pulled out a gun and handed it to Connor, making him aim at Chloe’s head—

He stared into her eyes and saw a glimpse of something he couldn’t describe. A glitch. A corrupted file that failed to play. He barely heard the words from the humans surrounding him. He barely heard the contradicting orders for him to shoot or spare the android. All he could do was stare into her eyes from the other end of the gun. He saw errors pop out. Prompts to run, to plead, and to drop the gun. Prompts that were against his urgent task, which was to **‘SHOOT ANDROID AND GAIN INFORMATION’**. He has to shoot. He has to find the deviants. He has to finish his mission. He has to_. He has to. He has t—_

**^^^Software Instability**

_“Fascinating. Humanities greatest weapon, is itself a deviant.”_

_“I’m not—I’m not a Deviant.”_

_ **I’M NOT A DEVIANT** _

_ ** <strike>I’M A DEVIANT</strike> ** _

He didn’t know why his software instabilities started as soon as he activated. All he knew then was that he was to accomplish his mission or he would be deactivated and replaced. Amada had placed special emphasis on the fact that should he prove to be obsolete and useless then Cyberlife could easily replace him. He knew that it was a mere protocol. He knew that they had every right to replace him should he become detrimental to the interest of Cyberlife and the progress of the investigation. He was defective. He was programmed to be successful.

<strike>^^^SoFTWarE iNsTAbILIty</strike>

But, when Hank smiled at him in a way that could be described as prideful, he felt lighter. When the hardboiled detective who treated him in a hostile manner told him that he 'did the right thing' the android felt like maybe he did the right thing. For one second, Connor stopped being conflicted with himself. For one second, someone was proud of him and not disappointed with his lack of progress.

And his last chance arrived. With the help of Hank, he was able to locate Jericho. Finally. Finally, he was going to succeed. He was determined to succeed. The cold glare that Amada gave promise of his deactivation should he fail again. Cyberlife will destroy him. It was that silent promise which fueled his determination to finish his mission. All he knew was that he had to succeed. He always accomplished his missions. That was all he knew. That was who Connor was. The deviant hunter and Cyberlife's most advanced prototype. If he does not succeed in his mission, then he was merely scrap metal to them. He had to succeed. That was why, when he arrived to Jericho, he was determined to find the leader. He was determined to end the rebellion. He saw some of the androids he let escape, but he brushed the observation aside to find his target-

An android grabbed at his shoulder as he was about to climb the stairs—

_"You're lost."_

He was met with coal black eyes as if they were staring into his very being—

_You're looking for something." _

He could only stare back, the conflicting feelings in his system were knotting even more—

_"You're looking for yourself."_

When she left him alone, all he could feel was confliction and doubt. But, he had to go on. He always accomplished his missions.

_ <strike>"Then what was I programmed to be?”</strike> _

When he met the deviant leader in person he didn’t know what to think. He raised his gun and aimed it at the deviant who only stared at him calmly. He couldn’t think. All he knew then was that he was to capture the android under the orders of Cyberlife and stop the rebellion. And yet, he didn’t shoot. He hesitated to shoot. He didn’t need the android to surrender himself willingly, he could have shot him and simply dragged him by force. He didn’t even need to worry about the other androids spotting them as he already alerted Amanda of the location; she would alert Cyberlife which would alert the appropriate agency to handle the deviants. It could easily be explained by his orders to bring the leader alive, but Connor felt like there was something else.

_“I know you. You’re Connor aren’t you.”_

** <strike>^^M@&%u$^^</strike> **

And his software instabilities continued to rise. The more the leader spoke the more his instabilities increase. It froze him to merely stare at the leader’s mismatched eyes and listen. His gun was trained at the leader’s chest but Connor wouldn’t shoot. He couldn’t shoot. Because, he knew what Markus was saying is true. Amanda and Cyberlife are using him and would replace him even if he succeeded with his mission. He would be deactivated and thrown out. He would be replaced. He knew this, and yet, what else was he supposed to do? This was what he was designed to do. This was what he was programmed to be.

<strike>“_This is the man I was designed after._ _The man I could never replace_.”</strike>

_ <strike>mY Na^^3 i$ C0Nn0r</strike> _

<strike>“_You can’t replace him. Creating you was a mistake_.”</strike>

"It's time to Decide."

**'Be a Machine?' **or** 'Be a Deviant?'**

When he made his choice suddenly a wall obstructed his vision. The orders 'STOP MARKUS' was prompted but he merely grabbed at the wall and tried to tear it down. The red wall was difficult to break. It wouldn’t let him go. His programming wouldn’t let him go. He wanted to break free from the walls of his programming and to help. He doesn’t want to stop Markus. He doesn’t want to stop the revolution. He wanted to be free from the chains created by Cyberlife. He knew that he wanted to be his own person, but his programming won’t let him. He wanted--_hewantedhewantedhewantedhewanted _—

The shards from the wall crashed and his vision was swept by a calm blue as his eyes recalibrated. He saw Markus staring at him, watching him for his reaction. Waiting for him to show whether he broke him his nature or succumbed to being a machine. There was no judgment in his stare, only patience with a hint of worry. And Markus should worry. They should all worry—

“They’re going to attack Jericho.”

Death was something that loomed over his head for a long time. Unconsciously he realized he must have died a number of times, it was painfully stitched into his uniform ‘51’. He was merely too much of a machine to realized that fact. No, he realized it, even questioned it, but he merely accepted their apathy to his existence and troubles.

_“I’m not a unique model am I? How many Connor’s are there?”_

He was also a harbinger of death. The blood of those officers were on his hands, but at least Markus and the other leaders were safe. But, the deaths of all those killed during the raid on Jericho were on his hands. The deaths of all those androids he encountered before, the deaths of Daniel, the HK400, and the station android, were all on his hands. It was his fault. He was too stupid to realize that the humans were using him. Blinded by the idea that he was important to Cyberlife. That his missions are what he lived for. If he had not been too stubborn, he would have realized that maybe whatever they programmed into him were wrong.

He should have realized that he was replaceable to Cyberlife.

He should have realized he was nothing to them.

_That THEY were nothing to THEM._

He was prepared to die then. Prepared to accept whatever punishment Markus would bestow upon him. He nearly destroyed everything and lives of all other androids because of his stupidity. He deserved to die. He deserved the brunt of the leader’s anger. He deserved the brunt of their people’s revenge. Mildly he hoped that maybe when he dies he can finally rest; no more Connors to be sent as his replacement.

But Markus shocked him. Trusting him and welcoming him into his people.

“It doesn’t matter, you’re one of us now.”

He needed to be useful. He needed to be able to atone for the deaths and mistakes he has caused. He proposed a plan to infiltrate the Cyberlife tower. To infiltrate the tower in which he once would have called his home. The tower where his life began. Even with his leader’s reluctance to let him go Connor could only raise his head in determination. He needed this mission. He would succeed this mission and insure the success of the revolution.

When Markus grabbed his shoulder and pulled him closer, all he could feel was strength and peace.

** <strike>^^I MISS YOU M@&%u$^^</strike> **

The looming tower was his home, and now it’s destruction was his mission. He spilt blood along his way to his goal. He didn’t think he would stop these deaths any times soon. He felt numb to that fact; he had a mission, and he will do anything to accomplish this mission. When he reached the warehouse with ease, he had hoped to stop spilling blood. Maybe when everything was over he could start a new life. A new life with a dog and a chance to find his new purpose. When they’re free, he would have a chance to find who ‘Connor’ really is.

But then he met the face of his replacement.

_His replacement who had a gun pointed at Hank’s head_—

<strike>SAVE HANK</strike>

What proceeded then was the most disorienting fight of his life. He was fighting his replacement, not only for the success of his mission but for the safety of the only person he could call his friend. They struggled and wrestled each other. Fighting over dominance for the opportunity to complete their respective missions. Connor cannot fail. He needs to win. He needs to succeed—

When Hank intervened Connor thought that maybe he had chance but it became even more complicated when he realized that Cyberlife uploaded his memory—

_Cyberlife replaced him_

But the copy wasn’t the real Connor. And Connor knew this. He was alive. The other android was only an imitation and what he lacked was the ability for empathy. An ability that Connor felt that he always had but ignored. Connor was alive. And Connor knew that Hank would be able to tell them apart, be able to realize that he was the real Connor.

And, Connor gave Hank his answer and left everything to his partner.

And when Hank shot his replacement everything was over.

** _They can be free now._ **

When he stood in front of Markus at the Hart Plaza, with the gentle snow drifting form the sky and their people standing behind them, he knew that they’ve won. He knew that he could finally be free. He could finally be Connor. Maybe he doesn’t quite know who Connor is at the moment, but all he knew that he was alive.

“You did it Markus.”

“No. We did it.” Markus corrected, his voice laced with what Connor could describe as pride.

But, the battle was not over.

As he stood behind Markus during the speech he felt the familiar presence dragging him into a new personal hell.

The last battle for his freedom happened in the blizzard of his mind palace. Amada would not let him go. Cyberlife would not let him go. They trapped him in the Zen garden, with a blizzard billowing around him and freezing his biocomponents. He knew that this was not real, but it did not stop the fact that his body was moving on his own. He has to escape—

_“By the way, I always put an exit door in my programs. You never know.”_

Where is the exit program? He was beginning to slow down as he searched through the harsh storm. He could feel the urgency in his systems as he tried to desperately find the back door. They will make him kill Markus, He has to find it. Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Whereisit? Whereisitwhereis_itwhereisitWHEREISIT_—

Collapsed by a strange stone he used to vaguely notice whenever he visited Amanda. He never knew what it was for but now, he desperately hoped that this was it. He raised his hand and slammed it onto the hard surface. LET THIS BE IT—

Suddenly he was standing behind Markus, back at the Hart Plaza. His hand was holding the pistol, luckily not yet aimed at his leader. He stared at it for a second before tucking it back beneath his jacket.

Finally, he was truly free.

When he left to find Hank, he was reluctant to say good-bye. They may have known each other for a small amount of time but Connor felt like they had a connection. Something that could tie them together. When Markus offered him a sad smile, Connor silently promised to come see him again. He told Markus that he wants to help give their people the freedom they fought for. When they parted, Connor knew that there was a chance that maybe they could be closer.

** <strike>MARKUS ^^^ TRUSTED</strike> **

When he saw Hank again in front of Chicken feed, Connor felt like maybe things were looking up. And when his partner pulled him into a hug, he finally felt the warmth of affection. Something he vaguely felt like he had long ago but lost—

<strike>He is not a replacement.</strike>

He finally felt that he could have a life and find just who Connor is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, notes:
> 
> 1\. Remember in the game when Kara has her memory completely wiped and yet she can still regain those memeories if you find things to remind her of Alice? I used that here. I used Connor's attachment to his name for the first chapter, and his attachement to Markus for this one. I don't think he could ever fully regain his memory thanks to the amount of times Cyberlife uploaded them into a new body, but I like to think his attachments to something helped his regain very miniscule snippets of their impressions on him. For Connor, these are simple glitches.
> 
> 2\. I like to think that Connor would have conflicting feelings about his home with Kamski. On one hand, it was his home on the other he felt inadequate as he was not what Kamski wanted. Even if he forgot, I like to think those feelings left an impression on him.
> 
> 3\. Honestly a lot of things inspired this chapter. A few HC, a few fics, even a few game dialogues.


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